Tag Archives: raising happy children

Aug16

Pigtails and Politics

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girl in pigtailsI’d like to convey a message from little girls everywhere – A message that even they don’t know how to express.

“Fuck You Disney!”

I mean… that’s what they’d say if they weren’t lovely little full-of-sugar-and-spice cherubs with ponytails in dresses sprinkled with flowers and butterflies. But if they knew what the women they are about to become know, they would definitely flip a Hello Kitty manicured finger.

What do women know that little girls don’t understand?

Brainwashing. There’s no other word for it. What else would you call a message that insists on depicting girls with no other goal than to find Prince Charming? After all, he’s your ticket out of (fill in the blank)…

Loneliness? Little Ariel traded her singing career and then disowned not only her entire family and all her friends (that lobster is so cute too), but her very existence for a boy she’s seen at the beach twice.

Drudgery and responsibility? Cinderella couldn’t wait to get out of the fire pit and wash house. Guess what girls… every castle that this prince wants to be king of comes fully equipment with kitchen and laundry facilities. Shoulda danced all night while you had the chance.

Your boring life?  Because nothing is more exciting than some mysterious beast of a man… the quiet, brooding type is so fascinating. Belle, honey, don’t bother with the dance lessons. Ain’t gonna happen.

Being unappreciated? No one knows as well as Snow White the amount of work there is in taking care of little people. Remember sweet sister that no kingdom is complete without heirs, and at least the dwarves brought home a paycheck.

Princes are nice, but gimme a break, that’s not ALL we dream about!  (Yes, I was once a little girl so I speak from years of experience.)

Wake up Disney! There are girls out there capable of curing diseases and starting businesses, designing skyscrapers and flying jets. We like adventure. We like space exploration and dinosaurs too. And just in case you haven’t heard, some of us drive race cars. There are little girls everywhere with talents and skills, and I don’t mean just ballet and baking.  Some of the best math brains are walking around in pink ruffles. And just because the outfit is totally coordinated and accessorized, don’t think there isn’t a future world leader behind that lip gloss.

So please stop force feeding women-in-training this one-trick-pony life. Because, by the way, little boys have no idea that it’s their job to keep the princess happy. (Whatever that takes)  They’re busy having adventures, exploring frontiers, and driving race cars.

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May3

You Say It’s Your Birthday. It’s My Birthday Too.

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“Not the Barry Bonds, Mom. Ok? Not the Barry Bonds.” Barry_Bonds_follow_through

It’s been twenty years or so since my son Dylan said that.  Something had ended up broken – probably due to “just messin’ around” – and restitution was owed. Usually, I’d cover what losses were incurred, but for whatever reason, this time I had told him that it was coming out of his money. He smugly replied that he had no money. “Easy fix.” I said “You have baseball cards. I guess we’ll have to sell one of those.”  “The Barry Bonds” referred to the acrylic-encased prized rookie card.

Bonds is now considered to be one of the greatest baseball players of all-time. He has a record-setting seven MVP awards. He is a 14-time All-Star and 8-time Gold Glove-winner. He holds numerous Major League Baseball records, including the all-time Major League Baseball home run record with 762 and the single-season Major League record for home runs with 73 (set in 2001), and is also the all-time career leader in both walks (2,558) and intentional walks (688).

But that’s not what made him special. Not to Dylan. He was special because he was born on July 24th.

That’s a big deal you see. It’s Dylan’s birthday.

Also born on July 24th? Alexander Dumas, author of The Count of Monte Cristo, Dylan’s favorite book.

I remember when he discovered the fact that people who had accomplished great things had been born on his birthday. A look came over him, a look of simultaneous amazement and pride. The look conveyed “Why not me?”

It’s been all downhill from there.

Dylan was convinced from that point on that being born on a day that special was proof of the magnitude of his own destiny.

And who am I to judge? Just a parent… trying to build the confidence of her eight-year-old. So yes, I agreed that being born on July 24th was indeed a most fortuitous event. The universe clearly had big things in mind to have him arrive on such a day. And that’s what I told him “You’re Dylan. And the Universe loves you.”

He’s a grown man now… married to his college sweetheart, expecting a baby girl next month. He works in the industry that has always fascinated him – Finance. He restored a bargain-priced foreclosed house into a very comfortable home in the mountains. And he is, by all accounts, the “nicest, most even-tempered guy” anyone has ever met… at least that’s what people tell me.

On his wedding day, one of his guests asked “Dylan, man, you have it all… a great house, a fantastic job, and now a beautiful wife. You just seem to get everything you want. How do you do it?” With his characteristic laugh and big smile, he replied, “I’m Dylan and the Universe loves me.”

All because of that one special day. And what do we know about birthdays? We all know birthdays are like… well, they’re like opinions… everybody has one. So who are the greats born on your day? Maybe it’s you.

“You say it’s your birthday

Well it’s my birthday too, yeah

You say it’s your birthday

We’re gonna have a good time

I’m glad it’s your birthday

Happy birthday to you.”
~ The Beatles