A woman I’ve been acquainted with for about ten years finished up the dishes, put in a load of wash, sat down with her crossword puzzle and died.
She was 61 and hadn’t been sick.
Apparently, the only thing wrong with her was her attitude. When I asked her survivor husband what he thought had happened, he said “I think she just gave up.”
She may have been depressed, but that’s not how I would’ve described her. She was feisty and funny and cooked dinner every night. Unhappy, however? Maybe just unhappy.
Could being unhappy actually be the reason she died? I think there’s a good chance it was. Her dissatisfaction caused her to do things she shouldn’t have and not do the things she should. What I don’t understand is why she was dissatisfied. She was a good wife; they’d been together 40 years. She was a good mom; the boy’s a lawyer for Pete’s sake, with a beautiful doctor wife! But what about her own life?
What happened, I wonder.
I think it was exactly that… she gave up. First, she gave up working and then she gave up volunteering. She gave up traveling, and she even gave up shore vacations. Of course, that was after she gave up going to the country house. And she had given up gardening a long time ago.
These were her choices. Just like we all have. Every day.
I never realized it before, but for some of us “having a life” may actually be what saves it.